R.M☆

Hardship and unhappines may seem similar but they’re different. U were saying it was your fault that ur mother pushed herself too hard, but haven’t you thought this way? That because you are here, she can do her best. That ure alive, is a hope for ur mother. — taguchi kohei (team batista 2)

You know what? I’ll tell you something: I am disgusted. I’m disgusted men. Yeah, you, the adam’s collonies. I think it’s just me that hard to fall in ♡ with men, because there’s no chemistry I found, but, actually, yes. You are disgusting creatures, men. You have dirty minds about us, women. And looks like that’s all you expected from us. You’re worthless. Even if I were without you, I would still be able to live! Piss off!

I am no lesbian. I just hate you and don’t have any faith in you. I hate your wonderful words to my kind when you expect something from us. I hate your true nature that you were created just like that. I don’t hate God who created you, I just hate you for being who you are. Anyway, I hate you.

I won’t deny that there some kind of you who are good and sincere. My friends are. So I do not disrespect them. But you guys. Most of you, I hate.

I don’t care If I couldn’t married or I would married older, just GTH!

Since I was born till the day I write this entry, I have no good men around me nor my family. They’re divorced, and I haven’t seen him since then. Till I find a real good man, I won’t be marrying. Let the God take my virginity till I die.

Contunue. Yesterday I also met my ex’s parents. I greeted them and they still warm to me. Specially his mother anyway. I feel release that she still the same to me. She’s even better

And, I got phonecall from M*tro R*tail that I got through the final hrd interview. Which means, salary nego, contract, etc things yaaay for me, alhamdulillah…

Pray for me friends.

Good day for you all

Hello, world. Long time no see. Yesterday was an important day. Some great things happened, when some bad things also happened.

I saw a sakratul maut of my custom ‘tukang becak’, after he delivered me and mother to mitra. I was off the becak. But my mother hadn’t. There I realized that he would go, home. Back to his Lord. Our Lord. Allah. :’( it’s so sad that I would never see his smiling face again in the morning.

One thing for sure: sakratul maut is hurt. Much hurts. And you’ll never be able to say any Names of Allah except miracle happens. scary, but I hope he gets forgiveness of Allah amin. (To be cont…)

I’m now waiting the car to take us to the international airport of Hang Nadim Batam. I have 4days of vacation this weekend. So me and my mom and another relative went to batam. Actually my mom went here for her job, and i join to spend my days off.

For these 4days i only laid lazily at hotel. Because actually i didnt jnterested in going out. I just need somewhere comfort and calm and different than jakarta or bekasi. To relax.

And the weekend is almost over, tomorrow will be working day again. Hiks… I need more. Anyway, i want to resign after getting another job. That’s all.

Fighting! You too!

Ps. Scary about home flight i dont like planes

I’m tired. This job is making me freak! I’m alone. Doing everything. There’re things I can’t handle. Makes me unsatisfied. Makes me anxious! Hhhhhhhhhh! I wish I would have a designer partner soon! But it’s difficult to find a capable employee today. I don’t mean I’m a capable employee, but it’s true! I feel it myself that I don’t get designer till now. Hiks.

Stressful.

And that man, the one I told you before, who gave me something on my birthday, is being a reeeaaaalllllyyyy annoying person! Until now I’ve heard and feel about his “bad” attitude, his problems with people, but never hear the worst like “stealing someone else’s ideas”!!

As a designer, I often see other people’s design, just for inspiration. But when doing my own design, I try not to totally copying the design. I also show my own style in every design I make. Take someone else’s design as an inspiration is normal. But stealing someone’s ideas? A CRIME!! I curse that kind of thing.

Anyway, that person, has been cleverer than the plagiator! Hahahahaha! Thank God. But really. He, the plagiator should be ashamed!

The truth is, I’m just so tired. But if I quit, will I get another job which as fun as this one??